Crones, Colds, and Birthmarks

The average American develops 2 to 4 colds a year. If you
are like me, then you hate colds. You don't necessarily hate them because of
all the disgusting stuff that comes out of your Nose. You don't even hate them
because your nose becomes sore and raw from blowing it so much. No, If you are
like me, then you hate colds because they are... well ... so common.



You see, if everyone you know gets a cold at least 2 to 4 times a year, then
there is no sympathy for you when you get a cold. There's no "Get Well
Soon Cards", and nobody sends you flowers. Most of the time people are
just annoyed that you act at all different just because you have a silly little
cold.



Thats where Crohn's Disease comes in. I have a friend who has Crohn's disease.
In fact, I think he is just about the only person who really reads what I write
on this website. Anyway, he gets all sorts of sympathy for his little disease.
That's why I am hoping that when it comes time in my life to get sick again,
that I get Crohn's Disease. I read
about it on the Internet and it looks like you can live a pretty normal
life with Crohn's while reaping all the sympathy rewards that go along with
having a disease that really can't be cured. Another benefit is that if I am
hospitalized, I could loose a lot of weight. My friend almost withered away
into nothing while he was in the hospital, and for those of you who haven't seen
me lately, I could stand to loose a few pounds.



By the way for all of you that didn't know, birthmarks are areas of raised or flat discolored skin that are
usually visible on a baby's skin at birth. Sometimes they go away and
sometimes they don't. With the birth of my daughter there has been some
confusion in the neighborhood as to the definition of a birthmark.

A Better Crap Trap

Poop is a part of every persons life. Just admit it... you poop too. Some people
are closet poopers. They like to poop when no one is around. Others are proud poopers.
These are the people who will walk right into a crowded public bathroom, sit down, and start pooping.



I am afraid that my daughter Maci is a proud pooper. She likes to poop in public, and she doesn't
care who hears her or who she poops on!



That's the problem with proud baby poopers: they poop on people. It seems like no matter how hard the
various diaper manufacturers try, poop still finds a way to escape from most tightly taped
diapers.



Why not keep the baby bagged up? That way if the diaper leaks, you just remove the baby from
the bag, throw it away, and tie up another one. I think it would be especially great for trips when
my proud pooping baby might decide to poop on the airplane seat, or her grandma.
We could even get bags in different colors to match the baby's hat.